When Words Won't Come

What do you say to someone when you don't know what to say?  How do you find the words to relay your feelings when there just don't seem to be any?  We've all been in such situations before.  A co-worker has lost her spouse unexpectedly.  A fatal accident has claimed the life of a teenager.  A child has lost his battle with cancer.  His wife left him with little more than a note on the kitchen counter.  What do you say?  What can you say?

Lyricist Roan Keating penned the song, "You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All."  And while the meaning behind the words is aimed towards lovers who knew each other so well that nothing needed to be spoken between them - just a look or a touch said it all - the title line can also be used to describe how we should respond in difficult situations.

When I was in junior high, one of my best friend's dad lost his battle to cancer.  My mother drove me over to her house that night to visit her and her mom and sister.  And although we were the typical teenage girls who would normally talk hours and hours about everything and nothing, I don't think we spoke more than a few sentences that night.  I remember trying to think of something to say and not being able to come up with a single word.  Our normal chattiness had been silenced by my friend's pain.  I knew there was nothing I could say to make my her feel better, so eventually I quit trying.  I just sat with her in the quietness of her bedroom.

And sometimes that's all you need to do.  Just be there.  Just show up.  Is there someone you need to show up for?  Grief may have stolen their joy.  Loss may have come calling.  Death may have taken their loved one.  Or perhaps they are just going through a rough spot or you know things have been tough for them lately.  You know you should visit but you just don't know what to say.   I encourage you to go anyway.  Just show up.  Even if the right words never come, your presence alone can speak volumes.

Where Does The Time Go?

As I sit here this morning and look over my blog, it's hard to believe that it's been over a year and a half since I last posted.  It's even harder to believe that it has been 4 years today since my grandmother went to be with the Lord.  Indeed, time flies.  And as cliche as that phrase sounds and is, it also holds an immense amount of truth.

Time does indeed fly.  Hours turn into days, days into weeks and months and before we know it a year and a half have passed.  4 years are gone.  Where did they go?  And even more so, how did we spend them?  As I sit and look back this morning and think about the passing of time, I'm brought to mind the well known passage from Ecclesiastes.  Made popular by writer Pete Seeger, The Birds performance of the song became one of their greatest hits.  Ever wonder why it resonated so deeply with so many?  Let's take a look at the original lyrics from the original writer - King Solomon.

"There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.
There is a time to be born and a time to die.
There is a time to plant and a time to pull up plants.
There is a time to kill and a time to heal.
There is a time to destroy and a time to build.
There is a time to cry and a time to laugh.
There is a time to be sad and a time to dance.
There is a time to throw away stones and a time to gather them.
There is a time to hug and a time not to hug.
There is a time to look for something and a time to stop looking for it.
There is a time to keep things and a time to throw things away.
There is a time to tear apart and a time to sew together.
There is a time to be silent and a time to speak.
There is a time to love and a time to hate.
There is a time for war and a time for peace."
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 (New Century Version)

Heres' my thought - the song entitled, "Turn, Turn, Turn" became so wildly popular because it was so relatable.  One thing that we all have in common, regardless of our social status, skin color, or nationality, is that we all experience the passing of time and the turn, turn, turning of life that it brings.  The thing that separates us and sets us apart is how we spend it.  What do we do with our time?  And how does its passing affect us?

I have a birthday coming up in a couple of months.  Another year older.  Another year of my life has passed.  365 days that I can't recover.  No matter how hard I work, how much I pray, how much money I earn, how much good I do, one thing I can never accomplish is the recovery of yesterday.  Or last week or last year or 1989, or any other year.  Once the calendar page has been turned, there's no going back.  And oh how quickly those pages turn.

So as I think back to the past year and a half of being absent from this blog, and as the death of my grandmother 4 years ago today weighs heavily on my heart this morning, I've decided that because time flies and because there's no going back, I won't let another day go by wasted.  Every day is a precious and priceless gift that can't be bought or earned.  Every day is a challenge.  A promise.  An opportunity.

There is indeed a time for everything.  Whatever time it is for you today, I hope that you seize it and cherish it for the treasure that it is.  Don't waste it for you can never get it back.  Remember the only thing that separates your time from the person's next door is how you spend it.  Spend it wisely...tomorrow is coming fast!