What do you say to someone when you don't know what to say? How do you find the words to relay your feelings when there just don't seem to be any? We've all been in such situations before. A co-worker has lost her spouse unexpectedly. A fatal accident has claimed the life of a teenager. A child has lost his battle with cancer. His wife left him with little more than a note on the kitchen counter. What do you say? What can you say?
Lyricist Roan Keating penned the song, "You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All." And while the meaning behind the words is aimed towards lovers who knew each other so well that nothing needed to be spoken between them - just a look or a touch said it all - the title line can also be used to describe how we should respond in difficult situations.
When I was in junior high, one of my best friend's dad lost his battle to cancer. My mother drove me over to her house that night to visit her and her mom and sister. And although we were the typical teenage girls who would normally talk hours and hours about everything and nothing, I don't think we spoke more than a few sentences that night. I remember trying to think of something to say and not being able to come up with a single word. Our normal chattiness had been silenced by my friend's pain. I knew there was nothing I could say to make my her feel better, so eventually I quit trying. I just sat with her in the quietness of her bedroom.
And sometimes that's all you need to do. Just be there. Just show up. Is there someone you need to show up for? Grief may have stolen their joy. Loss may have come calling. Death may have taken their loved one. Or perhaps they are just going through a rough spot or you know things have been tough for them lately. You know you should visit but you just don't know what to say. I encourage you to go anyway. Just show up. Even if the right words never come, your presence alone can speak volumes.
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